Weeks 13 and 14: How to Win Friends and Influence People 🌟

[doomhammer]

Welcome to weeks 13 and 14!

Time to read:

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

People skills are essential. The world is connected and it is very rare that a person can work on one’s own. Being a rocket science genius is not enough when you can’t communicate your ideas with others.

This classical book on the topic should be a good starting point to learn some people skills. Keep in mind it has been written almost 100 years ago and the world around us has changed a lot. If you’re interested in the ideas present in this book, you may also like Influence by Robert B. Cialdini or Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards.

Last year, we read Susan Cain’s “Quiet”. In it, the author suggested that Dale Carnegie may as well be responsible for the extroverted culture we live in today (at least in some parts of the world). Now we have a chance to compare the two worldviews.

Just 21 pages (or 32 minutes for an audiobook) a day to finish it in 2 weeks

[bhavaniravi]

I started this book today 70/250 pages. Hope I’m not late to the party

[doomhammer]

We’re just starting today, so you’re definitely on time

[bhavaniravi]

I’m halfway through the I’m just wondering if it’s even practically possible for the world today. What I feel with most of these books are that it’s fair only if everyone operates on Win-Win mentality. Unfortunately that’s not true.

[doomhammer]

What do you mean by “if it’s even practically possible for the world today”?

[bhavaniravi]

The book is 84 years old. We are moving towards an individualistic society. I share this conversation as an example to most people,

Me at an indian wedding

Scenario 1

Person: Why are you not wearing a bindhi?
Me: I don’t want to
Person: Makes a face moves on never brings it up in any other wedding

Scenario 2

Person: Why are you not wearing a bindhi?
Me: might have fallen down
Person: Here I have a spare
Me: No aunty it’s okay
Person: Pushes the bindhi to my head, wait you’re not wearing flowers let me get that for you, and a million other “How to be a perfect girl lesson”

In this case I am better off being snarky than being the person they want me to be.

[swap]

I read this again after 3-4 years and still found it fresh. I could relate to many situations where I mishandled them in the past. The ideas presented in this book are simple yet effective. I’ve seen them work for many people, including myself. The secret is to not treat them as life hacks! If you’re praising, do it sincerely.

[doomhammer]

If you’re interested in the “why?” behind the “what?” then I’d recommend reading “Influence” by Cialdini

[swap]

Added to my to-read list.